Promoting Resilience (4)

Identity

1. Who am I?
2. How do I compare with others?
3. What are my new relationships with my parents (and other authority figures)?
4. What have I accomplished?
5. Where do I go from here?

When you answer these questions to your satisfaction, you show skills in monitoring your own behavior, comparing your behavior with accepted standards, being helpful and supportive of others, using your fantasy and initiative to make dreams come true, and recognizing the role of idealism in thinking and planning.
 In other words, not only should all your resilience factors be developed, you should be enjoying them.

Many cannot answer these questions to their satisfaction and become self-doubting and unsure of who they really are. They feel that no one understands them, including themselves. They may be totally confused about how to behave and about their role in life.
These feelings of insecurity may bring on frustration, anger, and a sense of hopelessness.
Perhaps they need to realize they are constantly changing as a result of experiences, new insights, and new adversities.

Promoting identity can be to help the development of good interpersonal and problem-solving skills.
You can do this by discussing the interpersonal skills individuals have and those they need. Social skills include making friends who challenge them in constructive ways, learning how to listen, and learning how to
express anger, disappointment, disagreement, and empathy.

Edith Henderson Grotberg in "Resilience for Today"