Promoting Resilience (2)

Autonomy
"Autonomy is defined as independence and freedom—the ability to make your own decisions.
Many children and youth do not become autonomous. Sometimes they live in homes where fear of punishment and physical harm make any expression of autonomy dangerous. Sometimes they made mistakes
that brought responses of such derision and ridicule they wouldn’t try again. Many adults had these same experiences as children and never tried to become autonomous, always deferring to someone else, someone more powerful, someone more assertive.
Make clear to them it’s okay to make mistakes; they can learn from their mistakes.
You can assure them that mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of, and you can encourage them to take the risk of making mistakes. You will be there whether they fail or succeed."

Initiative
"Initiative is the ability and willingness to take action. Many children and youth do not develop initiative. They experienced too much rejection from those they asked for help, and thus they felt unworthy of help. No one cared; no one wanted to help. Eventually, they stopped wanting or trying to take the initiative in anything.
Adults who do not take the initiative have the same fear of making mistakes.
An entry point for promoting initiative is to encourage children and youth to decide what they would enjoy doing.
Help them see that failure can be a great learning experience. It opens them up to new ideas of how to be successful."

Edith Henderson Grotberg in "Resilience for Today"